Did I get on the wrong wagon?!?!

So I haven't updated in quite a while... not that there hasn't been anything to update on!  As I have reflected these past 3 months it has been a whirl wind and it makes me think "what have I been doing?!".

In a nutshell back in October when I ran the Tails and Trails 5K I was hit on the eyelid by a bug or something.  When I brushed it off I felt a small stinging sensation but didn't think too much about it, after all I was running in a race.  As the week following progressed my right eye began to swell where the bug hit me and I soon looked like I had been in a big ol fight!

It took 10 weeks but finally after 4 doctors, multiple antibiotics, steroids, and ointments and I finally have my eyelids back to normal! They never fully concluded if it was the bug that caused all the mayhem but was told it was a stubborn case of  blepharitis and staph infection.

Because of being on all the medications, steroids, lack of exercise and crappy eating, I ended up gaining around 20 pounds!  Not what I wanted to do.  After all I was on track to try and get to my 100 pound weight loss goal by January 1, 2011.  I felt like I had gotten on the wrong bandwagon and didn't know it!  Isn't my weight and health suppose to be getting better not worse?!?!

I knew I wasn't going to reach my weight loss goal by the end of the year and the whole no sugar thing... well that went out the window real quick!  Yes I admit it, I am addicted to sugar!!  So I had to sit down a re-group.  I have invested so much emotionally this past year in my weight loss and after hitting a plateau and now weight gain I was feeling pretty down on myself.  After losing almost 60 pounds the first year I started losing weight, to now spending the entire second year working hard and managing to lose 30 only to gain 20 back it was hard for me.

BUT I had to look at more numbers than just the number on the scale.  I was still consistently loosing inches.  After gaining 10 pounds in one month my personal trainer still measured a 2 inch loss in my waist.  I have gone down 2 almost 3 pants sizes and I can tell I am gaining muscle mass and tone.  So honestly all was not lost.  I had to start looking at my numbers differently.  Its not just about the number on the scale.

November 20th I began participating in my personal trainers boot camp.  We workout 3 days a week for an hour, we sweat our butts off and work hard.  In addition, one day a week I workout personally with my trainer one on one.  So I am getting 4 days of hard workouts in.  It would be so incredible to say I lost a ton of weight starting this but then I'd be a liar.  But for the first time this week after we started the scale moved in a direction that I liked... in 5 weeks of boot camp and getting my diet back on track (not quite back to the no sugar yet though :)) I lost 3 pounds this week!!

I am getting back on the right wagon... no more pitty party, I feel bad for myself, I'm a failure blah blah blah.  I am starting off 2011 strong.  I can not compare 2010 results to my 2009 results nor will I look back on 2010 and have it dampen my 2011 expectations!  I am stronger than I think I am, I have accomplished more than most people dream, and I am not finished!!!  The best is yet to come!!

Now you all have to keep me accountable... I will be coming up with my goals for 2011 and no matter what, I will always strive to do my best to look for the positive in my situations.  I have started studying for my ACSM personal training certification and am looking forward to what the future brings.  Lets all start today in making 2011 better than 2010!

Plateau?!

Ahhh the dreaded plateau... the frustrating number on the scale that hasn't moved in the past few months.  When I initially started out I thought it would be amazing to reach 250 pounds.  After starting at 329 it just seemed like a good number to shoot for.  So now I am 249 and stuck! :)

I shouldn't be beating myself up so much since I have lost inches and have gone down a pant size even though the number hasn't changed.  But every time I get on the scale the number doesn't change.  Although 2 weeks ago the scale showed a 10 pound weight loss until I realized my battery in my scale was dieing and after replacing it I was back at 249! :)  

I was discussing my frustration about my lack of weight loss with my personal trainer 2 weeks ago.  Even though I have come so far and losing 80 pounds I am having a hard time losing more weight.  Mentally, I can not even imagine what I would look like losing more weight.  I am at the point where I am the same size I was my freshman year of high school!  So in my mind I don't have an image of me being smaller.  She suggested I create goals to try and achieve to help motivate me.  I still haven't completed my list but I have divided my goals up into weekly, monthly and long term goals.

My weekly goals are
Weekly
  workout after work before watching tv or internet
  workout a minimum of 30 minutes
  no snacking between meals
  no added sugar
  be positive

Monthly
  Lose 10 pounds
  create a vision board of what I want to achieve
  Read a positive/motivational book
  Try a new workout
  buy now goal jeans

Long term
  under 200 pounds
  run 5k under 30 minutes

I have to come up with some more long term goals but this is getting me started to try and get my mindset changed and get me off this plateau!

Tails n Trails

Saturday 10/9/10 I participated in a local 5k benefiting our humane society. Last year I ran the race too however this year it was at a different location. This year was the second year for the race so I can proudly say I have consecutively ran in every tails and trails 5k ;).

It was so much fun to be in this race. Not only was it a 5k but they also had a 15k and dog walk. There were dogs and people everywhere!

I made it my goal to try and finish the race under 40 minutes. I have been averaging 12 to 13 minute miles on my running during the week so it was feasible to reach my goal. Also I had 3 of my co-workers walking in the dog walk and my personal trainer was doing the 5k, so I felt extra pressure to do well.

This was my first trail run. I had no idea what to expect but didn't imagine it would be much more difficult than my normal running I do on pavement. Maybe I was just being naive. They explained before the race that the 5k route we were running is the exact track laid out for our local high school cross country sectional meet.

The race began and we all took off across a huge open field. It really surprised me how different it felt to run on grass as opposed to my normal runs on pavement. And when we switched to gravel/trails it really proved to be more of a challenge than I expected.

There was this steep hill we had to run down and it scared me that I was going to fall but I didn't thank goodness. However, I was unaware later in the race I was going to be running back up that same hill!

As I was nearing the last mile another large hill was in the course. I could see the grass hill and knew I had to get up it but in my mind I was thinking I can't do it. Then I gave myself a little pep talk. I have accomplished so much so far in my journey one stinkin hill isn't me. Each step up the hill I just reminded myself how far I have really come. By the time I reached the top, I wanted to do the victory dance I was so proud. Not only did I make it up the hill, I also finally saw a bit of the strength I had inside me, I didn't think was there.

I finished the race in just under 42 minutes. I didn't meet my time goal but i didn't care so much. This race was proof to myself that I can accomplish more than I think I can... Including running up big ol stinkin hills!!!

Sugar Day 8

Today is day 8 of my no sugar quest!  Some days are better than others.  I ran a 5K Saturday and had a Gatorade, I didn't even think about to check the sugar until after I drank the whole thing! Sunday at dinner with the family I enjoyed myself a slice of pumpkin pie.  But its all good... I have not given up and I am plugging away. 

Friday I had a conversation with a group of people that kind of opened my eyes.  I was discussing my attempt to cut sugar out of my diet.  One person sitting at the table began to say how they also try to not eat sugar in their diet. In the meantime they are sitting there eating a piece of apple pie!  One of the other people sitting with me at the table brought up the fact that this person was eating the piece of pie and they excused eating the pie as ok because it was mostly fruit!

Its is amazing to me to how much we will make excuses to make ourselves feel better about our bad choices.  The pie is mostly fruit, I will work harder in exchange for eating crappy!  FOR REAL?!?!  Why don't we just say how it is, I ate the pie because I wanted to eat it, I am not really going to work harder I just want to make myself feel better now about eating crappy.  

Honesty I have struggled with making the right choices when I am alone because, I am alone. I know the right choices to make but I have that little voice in the back of my head telling me, it is ok to eat something because no one is there to see me... the only problem with that is, I am only hurting myself!!  Yes, I don't have the accountability when I am by myself but it is not about doing the right thing only when people are there to critique what I do.  It is what I do when no one is watching me when I am truly learning my lesson.  It is ok to eat something off every now and again, just don't let it become an every day occurrence, deal with your decisions and don't let it hold you back from continuing on with your journey!  

2 years! What?!

Today is a day of celebration!! It has been 2 years since I decided to make my health a priority. I was no longer going to be the fat girl... Oh my, how much I have learned in these past two years. I learned how to have effective workouts, what I should and shouldn't eat but most of all learned so much about myself.

It is more than just a number on the scale, it is about the change in you head. Growing up always being the big girl, I had to start thinking of myself differently. I have learned just how strong I can be. How many times do people jump on the bandwagon only to have crash and burned later down the road. I have continued on this journey for 2 years and will continue for the rest of my life. A friend of mine recently pointed out to me the fact that I have the strength to lose this weigh is evidence of just how strong my will power is. In addition, the strength I have inside to improve my health also shows that I have the strength to improve other, non-health related, areas in my life.

I am succeeding in proving that even though I have lived most of my life with a weight issue I don't have to finish my life with a weight issue. Growing up I listened to the negative "I can't" voice in my head giving every excuse to not live life to my potential. However to go from saying "I can't" to "I can" is the mind shift that changes the world. We all have limitations and things we are not good at, but to do what we can do is the baby steps that brings you to your goals.

When I started my journey I could have easily said "I can't do a half marathon", and I believed that. But I had to say, "I can walk a mile" after I did that it brought me to say "I can participate in a race" which in turn led to "I can run a 5K" which eventually got me to "I can do a half marathon!". How much greater potential would we all have if we just stopped saying I can't and focused on what we can do!

Below I am sharing my photo time line I started 2 years ago, up the my most current picture. The pictures below are a visual representation of what "can" can do!! :)

Day 3

I survived another day! ;) It seemed to be easier to resist the candy and pop temptations today. Could be that there was less stress in my day but I wanna think I am getting stronger in my will power.

Today my oatmeal, which I normally put honey and craisens in, tasted a little better than wall paper paste and actually not too bad. I am even proud of myself and have not ate a reeces pumpkin! I know it is only day 3 of my no sugar adventure but I am starting to see this might actually be something to help me break this plateau I am on.



I am going to stick my flag in the ground today and declare to all you reading this blog my next goal. I have been stuck in the 10 pound rut fluctuating between 80 - 90 pounds lost since May. Although my body has continued to change and have lost multiple inches, it is time for me to get focused again. I am making it my goal that I will lose 100 pounds before January 1, 2011! Which currently means I will need to lose 14 pounds to reach my goal. Totally achievable, so I also challenge you to set your own personal goal to reach by January 1... who said resolutions had to start on January 1 anyways!! :)

Day 2

Ok, so today I seriously contemplated my sanity today with my no sugar challenge. Today was quarter end close at work, which causes extra stress because all work needs to be complete by 5 pm. Not to mention, now withdraw is setting in and I have a heighten sense of awareness of every sugar laden food in my general vicinity! :)

I did manage to make it through the work day without adding extra sugar to my foods. One of my coworkers gave me a picture today of us when we did the march of dimes walk a little over a year and a half ago. The picture was taken after I had already reached 30 pounds lost. It blew me away to see that picture and prove to myself that I have come a long way. I kept looking at that picture all day as motivation to keep my head in the game.



True confession time though... I did however eat a reeces pumpkin tonight after dinner, but it is not the end of the world.

Overall I rate today a 8 out of 10. I am slowly learning I am stronger than I think I am. I choose to make decisions to further my health and strength. I might mess up but there is no failure when quitting is not an option!

What?! No Sugar!

So I have been planning for a bit now to try and cut out excess sugar from my diet. I always hear about how extra sugar, high fructose corn syrup, and artificial sugars are bad for us. Stuff about it messing with your blood sugar levels and also causing your body to crave more sugar and so on. So I decided today 10/4/10 was going to be my first day without adding excess sugar to my diet. That meant no sugar in my coffee or tea, and no honey in my morning oatmeal. I am also trying to limit my sugars in packaged foods to 10g of sugar per package.

I have heard warnings that when you cut sugar your body goes through withdraw period where you are irritable but once you get past the first few days your body will adjust. Now I am not one to jump on any bandwagon for fad diets where you cut out all carbs, starve yourself and/or inject your body with hormones all just to look better in a pair of jeans. If you are looking for a quick fix to the mess of being overweight you are never going to learn and I pretty much guarantee the weight will not stay off in the long term. I know it is cliche but come on people, you didn't get fat overnight, your not going to get thin overnight. But I digress :)

When I heard about cutting the sugar out of my diet I thought, "oh that would be easy", Ya right!! After studying labels and examining my diet I realized I had a lot of excess sugar in my diet. A packet of sugar in my coffee or tea, a tablespoon on my oatmeal, heck there is even 19g of sugar in my yogurt!! Not to even mention the blatant sugars I consume in skinny cow ice cream, chick-fil-a sweet tea and the occasional chocolate bar or candy. So I made the decision, I was going to cut out all excess sugars see what happens.

So what happened... I get to work this morning and there is no regular coffee in the entire building, only decaf. Not so much of a big deal because I have green tea in my desk so I drank tea all day. Then the computer system I work on had an "upgrade" done to it this weekend, however our obsolete computers were not able to handle all the updates so our view screen only showed a 1x6 inch rectangular crosssection of the page and all the sorting functions were wacky too! So first day was not the greatest, but I survived, I resisted the jolly ranchers, reeces pumpkins and tootsie rolls, and fought off the urge to buy a cherry coke out of the vending machine. I did however make a peanut butter fluff sandwich for my 4 pm meal. :( But the marshmallow fluff is now gone and so I will not have that in the house anymore.

Day one, I rate 6 out of 10 overall... Lets see what the next few days of withdraw will bring :) haha wish me luck all!!

Hog Jog Take 2

June 19, 2010 I ran the Hog Jog for the second time. This year was fantastic! I tried convincing some friends to join me but none of them signed up so I was on my own again. I made it my goal to try and do the race in 28 minutes.

It was all so familiar to me as we milled around before the start of the race and once we go into the starting corral. But once the starting gun went off that is when it changed. It wasn't me being passed up by all the runners, I was keeping with the crowd! I knew I had to stick with my pre-set pace or else I would burn out before the end so I started my 3 minute run, 1 minute walk. I remembered the route from the year before and it was nice to see the people cheering us on from their lawn chairs and porches along the side of the road.

The race is one big square so when you get to the last turn you can see the finish. I kept track of my time but didn't know how close I was to beating last years time until I made the last turn. As I rounded the corner I could see the park ahead and I decided to run to the finish. I didn't look at my watch or anything around me, I wanted to run through the finish line. My legs wanted to quit before the finish but my determination wouldn't let me stop. I finished in 24:36!!!

So not only did I finish 7:34 minutes faster than the year before I was also 50 pounds lighter!!! In one year I have accomplished so much, the numbers and the smile on my face prove it!!

Zoo Run Run

I could suffice to say after doing the hog jog I thought to myself I could really get into this running thing. I searched around my local area for more races and found a 5k for the little zoo at our local park. I had heard about the Zoo Run Run before and decided it would be a fun thing to do and I really had no excuse not to do it since it was a local race.

To get into training for the 5K I had heard so much about the couch to 5K program I decided to give it a whirl. It started out with a 60 second run 90 second recovery time with 8 sets. Gradually the running time increases and the recovery time decreases until week 9 when you are suppose to be able to run for 30 minutes strait. Obviously with the next race in a month I didn't have time to get through 9 weeks of training so I just kept going with the plan and do the race as well as I could.

Race day came, a warm July Indiana morning. Thankfully the humidity wasn't too bad. This only being my second race I still wasn't sure what to expect. I had picked up my race packet and number the day before so just showed up with my number and timing chip securely tied to my shoe. :) There was the people running around the park warming up, to which I still thought were crazy for running before the race even started! There were a lot more people at this race. I noticed this dad with his 2 kids and he was showing them how to stretch and giving them advice about the race. I was still surprised about the variety of people there. It wasn't all the stereotypical runners. There were kids, teenagers, senior citizens, moms and dad, there was no bias toward one people, were were all there for a common goal, run a race and have fun.

I was doing this race by myself and doing it for the first time didn't help my pre-race jitters. Those feelings were soon behind me as the starting gun went off and the mass of people in front of me started running forward. As we headed through the park I felt like everyone in the race was passing me. It can feel kind of discouraging when you are doing this race and are still being passed by people. But after a quick glance back it was a comfort to me to see quite a few people still behind me.

I had mapped out 3.1 miles before on map my run and had done it before around my apartment so I though I was good to go. This race though started in the park, through the surrounding neighborhood, around the outside of the park and ended back inside the park at the zoo. There were a few times when the race intersected itself so it was weird to cross paths, literally, with the leaders of the race.

I had pushed myself really hard at the beginning of the race to try and keep up with the runners instead of keeping with my own, run/walk pace. Toward the end of the race I was pretty spent and was walking more than running. There was a lady and I who kept playing cat and mouse the whole race. I would get ahead of her then she would pass me, then I would pass her and so on. So when the course started us back into the park I knew it was the last leg and I wanted to finish before this lady.

When I saw the finish line ahead of me I began to run. My legs did not want to move but I was bound and determined to finish the race running! As I approached the finish there were people lined on either side of the finish cheering and the big "FINISH" banner with the time clock right next to it. I pushed what seemed to be my last ounce of will power and ran under the finish banner. Once I finished though I forgot about how hard the race was, it is like the finish line is the reward and the pain up to that point was worth it because no matter if your first or last, you are always a winner, because you finished!!

Oh and I did beat the lady! :)