Its has been a rough journey lately. A while back I had downloaded a calorie tracking app on my phone but had not really used it honestly. Last week I began to track my food and realized, although I was making 'healthy' decisions I was eating a lot more calories. I though I was consuming around 1200 to 1400 a day when in actuality it was closer to 1700 to 2000!!
In a way I feel as though I had given up on this journey. I talk a good game and can tell you all exactly what I need to do but when it came down to it, I didn't follow through. Yes, I workout 4 days a week regularly but my eating and exercise discipline outside of my structured personal training and boot camp is not there. I have a million excuses to give but it all boils down to the fact that I don't want to do it. I tried running the other day and for some reason felt ridiculous running down the street and gave up, turned around and went back home. Although I can say with some prompting from my friend and my mom, I did sign up and walk the Hog Jog this year again, for tradition sake.
My boyfriend is a great support... almost too good of a support. He loves me at my current size but ultimately he just wants me to be happy. I don't want to be one of those girls who constant looks for acceptance in a relationship over her body size but I want to be confident in who I am and how I look. I am thankful that he understands my struggle with my weight and he does what he can to help me and make me feel better. I am truly blessed to have him in my life.
I recently experienced the death of a cousin that really had me examine things in my life. Although exercise and eating right are important in life, in the end, it doesn't matter the hours spent in the gym or how many salads I ate... its about the people who have been affected by my life. My cousin was only 38 years old but the stories and lives that had been touched by her smile and kind heart fill way more than 38 years.
I say this all the time but this time it is different, I am not giving up... I have been set back, I have gained weight, but I am going to persevere. I don't want this slump to keep me down. It is going to be a slow process to get back to where I was before and it is going to take honesty and dedication to not give into the temptation to throw the towel in... so these first few steps back on track are for my cousin Kim.
In a way I feel as though I had given up on this journey. I talk a good game and can tell you all exactly what I need to do but when it came down to it, I didn't follow through. Yes, I workout 4 days a week regularly but my eating and exercise discipline outside of my structured personal training and boot camp is not there. I have a million excuses to give but it all boils down to the fact that I don't want to do it. I tried running the other day and for some reason felt ridiculous running down the street and gave up, turned around and went back home. Although I can say with some prompting from my friend and my mom, I did sign up and walk the Hog Jog this year again, for tradition sake.
My boyfriend is a great support... almost too good of a support. He loves me at my current size but ultimately he just wants me to be happy. I don't want to be one of those girls who constant looks for acceptance in a relationship over her body size but I want to be confident in who I am and how I look. I am thankful that he understands my struggle with my weight and he does what he can to help me and make me feel better. I am truly blessed to have him in my life.
I recently experienced the death of a cousin that really had me examine things in my life. Although exercise and eating right are important in life, in the end, it doesn't matter the hours spent in the gym or how many salads I ate... its about the people who have been affected by my life. My cousin was only 38 years old but the stories and lives that had been touched by her smile and kind heart fill way more than 38 years.
I say this all the time but this time it is different, I am not giving up... I have been set back, I have gained weight, but I am going to persevere. I don't want this slump to keep me down. It is going to be a slow process to get back to where I was before and it is going to take honesty and dedication to not give into the temptation to throw the towel in... so these first few steps back on track are for my cousin Kim.
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