Tuesday, March 11, 2014


Here I am back on the blog... I thought of starting a new blog, about being a fat girl and not having to relive my "glory day" of previous blog entries.  The more I thought about it though, the more I realized I needed to continue this blog.  Weight loss is never an easy road, no matter which route you decide to take, it takes commitment, dedication and perseverance to stick with a plan.  Obviously I fizzled out when it came to perseverance last time... but as it is said, it doesn't matter how many times you fall down, its how many times you get back up... or whatever blah blah blah people say about not giving up.

O L... These are the letters that pop up on my scale when I step on it.  No matter what I do, weigh naked, or first thing in the morning, the scale looks back at me and says O L.  What is that supposed to mean!!  Obese Lady,  Oil Lamp, Ostrich Livers?!?!  It means OVER LOAD!!  Geez I have gotten to the point where my scale has resorted to "you got me man, your guess is as good as mine" when it comes to this fat girl stepping on the scale.  Sad part is my scale goes up to 350 lbs!

I look back and see exactly how I got back to where I started weight wise, plus weight.  Its strange how we all know what we need to do to lose weight but always have a reason why we don't!  We have free lunch at work almost every week, multiple time a week, and free lunches mean I have to eat more than my fill, right?!  I have a gym membership but its always too early, too late, too many people, not enough gas, not enough time, or wanting to spend time with my husband.  So I sit at home, eating whatever junk I want crying about how big my back side is getting and complaining that none of my clothes fit anymore.

Last week I decided enough is enough... I can no longer stand on the scale and see O L, I refuse to buy bigger clothes, and I can not buy the latest Oreo flavor no matter how cool it is!!  I have got to get my 350+ pound body moving and I need motivation.

So I started how I started last time... I went online searching for a personal trainer.  I chose not to go back to my old trainer, mainly because I feel like such a failure for not maintaining what I lost while working with her.  In addition, I need accountability and I need a trainer that will kick my butt and not be my friend.  I need someone who will push me to do 5 more reps past the point where I would quit and who would tell me to get over myself and keep going!  So I went online and filled out all the contact forms on multiple websites and waited for a response.  I was honest stating that I was extremely overweight but wanted to get started working out... wouldn't you know, out of the 3 training studios I contacted only 1 responded!!  So after a 10 minute conversation over the phone I set up my first training session for the next day.

When I arrive to the gym the next day, I am greeted at the air lock door by a "meat head", veins popping out everywhere and walking with his shoulders pushed forward.  He showed me around the gym a bit, it was full of weight equipment, only a few pieces of cardio equipment... not what I was used to with my old trainer who had a minimalist, mostly using body weight, open setup to her studio. After a brief introduction, the trainer had me start on the treadmill for a warm up and a little "get to know you" Q and A.  We discussed my workout habits, or lack there of, eating and a little bit of my work and stress.  Once I was warmed up the fun began!!  He ran me though an initial circuit of  25 squats, lat pull downs, bench press, and 1 minute on the stair mill.  After succeeding with the first round he said we were going to do the same circuit only he was going to time me... so I ran though the set again.  I could feel each muscle working and I knew with each squat how painful my legs were going to be afterward.  By the time I got to the stair mill I was wore out, I only lasted 20 seconds and I felt like I was going to pass out!!  I felt so defeated, not even 10 minutes into the workout and I was dying!!!  My legs were a shaky mess, my arms were jello and I felt like I had just run the mile!  Its horribly awful to realize how much fitness I had lost over the past 3 years of not working out, 3 years ago that circuit would have been nothing to do 3 even 4 times and I didn't complete 2!  After a pep talk and half a bottle of water, he made me do another circuit, minus the stair mill, I finished up on the treadmill.

Walking into the gym I immediately judged the muscular man as a dumb meat head and began doubting his ability to train me... after all I wasn't there to be a body builder, I was there to lose weight.  As I began working out though, he was quick to correct my form, and stern with directions.  I began to see, he really had my best interest in mind when he pushed me to keep going.  Walking out of the gym after my 20 minute, start to finish, workout, my jello legs barely got me to my car.  I went home and collapsed in my bed but I felt in my mind that this is the start of a good change!!  So once a week for the next 12 weeks, I am committed to getting my butt to the gym... because I am paying someone to push me to do just a little more!

Here goes nothing... and hopefully some weight too :)

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