My Reality

I had not planned on stopping writing on this blog nor had I planned on being in the spot to where I am today but we all have set backs, but its how we respond to the set backs that makes or breaks the situation.  I have thought on many occasions about updating the blog but alas I did not want to have another post were I was admitting I was failing.  I like to keep it all upbeat and having a positive outlook on things but I have been struggling this past year on keeping that up.

My reality today... I weigh 275 pounds, I no longer fit into my size 16 jeans, my size 18's cut into my stomach so much, creating a muffin top even spanx can't fix!  It is hard to admit to myself that I let my guard down and slacked on my discipline but my pants don't lie.  I have a few select clothes I can fit into these days because I had given away or sold my old "fat" clothes. 

At the end of July I picked up a second job at Target and worked there for 2 weeks.  I was then offered a job at Vitamin Shoppe, which was where I first applied when looking for a second job, and I quickly jumped at the chance and quit Target to work at VS.  I just completed my 90 days at VS and am totally enjoying working there and learning a ton about vitamins and supplements. 

Since picking up the second job though I put on almost 10 pounds!  From working 10 hour days at my primary job to then leave there to go directly to my second job for an additional 4 hours, it greatly limited my time.  I still continue to workout with my personal trainer on Mondays but that was the only time I was able to get any exercise in during the week.

A month ago in an effort to take charge of my finances, I moved back home with my parents when my lease termed on my apartment.  These past 6 months have been a lot to deal with.  On top of my 2 jobs, and moving home I still had to find time to fit in some quality time with my amazing boyfriend. 

In the past few weeks I have begun to feel like I am getting a rhythm juggling all the things I have going on right now.  It took me a while to adjust to everything but I finally feel like I am in a place where things make more since and I don't feel dead dog tired at the end of the day.  As I began to resurface to reality, the reality of my weight started weighing really heavy on me.  I do not want to go back to where I was, in my weight or in my life. 

Today I took the first step into getting back on track... I joined a gym.  The gym is 24 hours and close to both were I live and work.  So my re-start plan is to go workout in the evenings after I get off my second job on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  In as much as the idea of working out in the mornings before I start my first job is ideal, the reality of me actually getting my "not a morning person" booty out of bed that early is pretty far fetched.  So I am starting at a place where I know I can do it!  Then as I begin to incorporate exercise back into my daily routine I might find another place to interject more fitness.

My reality today...  I weight 275 pounds.  My reality for tomorrow is I am going to do all that I can to not make that number go any higher and start going in the right direction!!