Can I really do this?

I am always looking for new podcasts and one day I came across one podcast called The strength coach podcast. This is a few guys giving advice to other strength coaches and personal trainers about how to improve different screening techniques and so forth for mainly athletes. Honesty I had no idea what almost all the stuff these guys were talking about, I mean, who the heck has ever heard of a turkish get-up or a movement screen?! Not me! Even though I barely understood their lingo I continued to listen and get inspired.

I started becoming interested in looking for a personal trainer but from what I heard it is expensive to get a personal trainer. I looked at the different gyms in town. Not that there were a plethora to look at, I can count the gyms in town on both hands!! Gyms however, scared me. Just like races, my mental image of a gym was skinny people looking judgmentally at the fat people trying to workout and meat heads hogging the mirror in the weight room. The more I thought about it the more I really wanted to look into a personal trainer. So I googled personal trainers in my local area.

The first site that came up was this total meat head guy who used to do body building and had a totally gross picture of him all muscled out and unnaturally shiny. Definitely a NO. The next site I went to though was a nice looking site. It was a girl who worked mainly with women and she actually had her rates posted on her website. So I sent a e-mail though the website asking about the gym and what kind of training she does.

Surprisingly, I received a e-mail the next day answering my questions and inviting me for a free assessment. So I though, I could go for the free assessment and first session and if I am not comfortable or don't like it I will just not commit to it or only do it for a little bit then quit. The thing I liked the most was she worked out of a personal training studio so the only people who were in there were either being trained or were the trainer. She also gave you an eating plan to help get a healthy diet established. So I decided to jump in.

I was so scared I could not continue on the journey I had started without further motivation. Sure I had signed up for 5K in July, but you always hear stories of people losing 30, 40 or even 50 pounds then falling off the wagon and gaining all the weight back plus some. I don't want to be one of those people. I did not want to be the 'typical' American who can only stick with something until it becomes an inconvenience and then it goes out the window. So maybe if it was a good deal I could get a personal trainer and I could really do it and finally not be the fat girl.

The day of my assessment I was so freaked out. Here I was, this fat girl, going to a personal trainer, whom I have never met, not knowing what or who I was going to find. I get to the studio and a petite, toned girl greeted me and introduced herself as Amanda, the trainer. She appeared to be a few years older than me so that was a little more reassuring to me, I don't really know why though :). So she took me to this small office area and we started the assessment.

She sat me down and started asking me questions, why I was there, what I was looking for, what kind of goals I had. Seriously?!?! I had no idea any of the answers, I just don't want to be fat and she wants specific goals! Oh boy, what did it get myself into! I finally gave her some goals I wanted... I want to be able to fit into clothes not purchased in the plus size section of the store. I want to be able to run a mile without stopping to walk. Then we moved on to weight and measurements, the part I was so dreading. Here I was already insecure about my size and you have to go and really tell me how fat I am, Great!! I don't remember all my measurements but my starting weight, with all my clothes and shoes on was 300 pounds. She then sat me back down and went over a strategy on how she can help me and I was so in! Partly because I felt bad about how big I was and because she had a plan to help me. So I wrote the check and signed up for my first month of training... my first session was going to be on June 30, 2009.